Short Story

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Postby Mac » Mon Oct 13, 2014 10:47 am


I'm gonna write a short story, set in Alloy of Law. I would like a cast of characters for it. It's a stupid writing exercise, totally implausible. Basically, this dude is just randomly born as a Mistborn. A la Vin's journey to become the Mistborn she was, he is going to go around to a bunch of different master Mistings, almost always hiding his nature as a Mistoborn, and learn how to use that specific metal.

I would like people to suggest Mistings or Twinborn I should use. I was thinking characters people have already made. If you want to, please reply with a link to that specific character. Or, just write a brief post giving me a few salient details. Or, feel free to actually make an entire character just for this (do I need to add the disclaimer that this last option is for Kadrok?)

I plan to simply take your character concept and write the story myself, but if anyone feels strongly about it, let me know if you'd rather post back and forth to draft your chapter of the short story. I plan one chapter per Misting. It will be either the meeting, a day-in-the-training, or a "you now know all I can teach you" final moment (or possibly a, "leave and never darken my doorstep again, you terrible pupil you"). I'd like the Mistings to be all over the map, teachers at a University, established professionals, neighborhood matriarchs, underworld thieves, hermits out in the Roughs. Anything. The in-story reason is, he's inventing a whole new persona for each Master, so it's easier if they're as widely spread apart as possible.

The metals I need:











The metals I will probably not use:

Zinc/Brass (depending on which I go with. If I have time I might do both).

Copper (I might add this, but I feel like individual Mistings don't do much)



Bendalloy/Cadmium (my impression from the books is that there's not actually a ton of subtlety to either power. Dealing with the interface is really most of it. I might add one or the other, but possibly not).

If you suggest a character and don't request that I write it jointly with you, I am going to assume you're granting me permission to use your character on my own.
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Postby Kadrok » Tue Oct 14, 2014 11:14 pm


Concept: "Crack" Addict
Race: Human
Sex: Male
Age: Mid to late 20s, early 30s?
Height: 5' 7"
Weight: Thin and sickly

Physique: 3
Charm: 2
Wits: 4

Resources: 4 (Representing income from theft and desperate resourcefulness, rather than a job, or assets)
Influence: 2
Spirit: 3

Drive: Catch my next fix
Profession: Thief
Specialty: Stealthy
Feature: Skin and bones
Personality: Desperate
Other traits: Light tread; Haggard; Fallen businessman; Beneath notice; Pickpocket

Electrum 8
--Savant: CHARNAME gains two “free” Nudges with Electrum rolls, but also feels naked and exposed whenever the next moment isn’t evident. When not burning Electrum, CHARNAME's Willpower drops by 1.
--Instinctive Burning: CHARNAME instinctively starts burning Electrum in response to threats, gaining Defense Dice from Electrum whenever he is attacked —even when he isn’t aware of the impending attack (e.g. when he is ambushed or attacked in his sleep). This grants no extra benefit if he’s attacked while already burning Electrum.
--Slow-Burning Electrum 2: CHARNAME's Electrum burn rate is 40 minutes per charge. This Stunt does not increase his Iron burn rate while flaring.

Electrum 10

(P) Disguise
(P) Dagger
(PPa) Misting Vials (2) - Each contains 3 charges of Electrum; 2 Twinkits
(PPb) Metalminds (Average; 2) - Two sets of Electrum rings; each stores 100 charges of Determination; 2 Twinkits

Tragedy: I had it all: money, prestige and women; but all that was ruined when I discovered I could compound Determination...

Destiny: Steal enough to supply myself with Electrum for the foreseeable (heh) future.

CHARNAME was an Oracle prodigy from a young age, a fact that he exploited to make millions and live a rich life of luxury. In fact he, burned so much Electrum he inadvertently became dependent on it, which didn't particularly bother him, as he had the fortune to fund his demand for Electrum.

After an unusually deep period of his life on retreat in a Terris community, he unlocked his inner Feruchemical potential and discovered to his immediate delight that he was not only an Oracle Misting, but a Pinnacle Ferring; a Determination compounder.

Out of Character. Click to reveal.
For your convenience:
MAG page 361 wrote:Feruchemists use Electrum to store determination, and while doing so they display little motivation or initiative, as if deeply depressed. While tapping, on the other hand, they’re exceedingly confident, eager to take risks and facing danger head on, without fear. Tapping great determination results in something akin to a manic high, letting them act despite any and all setbacks, trauma, and mental anguish. It also lets them shake off what for lesser beings would be soul-crushing pain.

He took to compounding Determination with gusto, the rush it gave him brining his enjoyment of life to ever higher levels. After all, he already had an infrastructure bringing in large volumes of Electrum for him to burn Allomantically. It was a simple, albeit expensive, matter to double the yield to enable him to burn Determination as well.

CHARNAME's downfall was gradual, for while it was a simple enough matter for him to feed his Electrum appetite as a Savant, his appetite as a Compounder kept growing and growing. As he grew accustomed to higher levels of Determination, the times he wasn't compounding seemed like a sluggardly hell in comparison; he found that he simply couldn't function at the level of determination everyone else had to by default. More than that, he now even found it hard to function at the levels of Electrum he'd burned when he first started compounding. As he compounded more and more, he found himself adjusting to heightened levels of Determination, as the buzz became the norm; he had become dependant on Electrum both Allomantically and Feruchemically, and eventually his wealth, however great, couldn't keep up with his desperate addiction.

Like many addicts, he began selling things, making sacrifices to fuel his addiction. He always told himself he'd buy it all back later, and the ease at which he'd originally accquired his wealth helped him to sustain this delusion. But pretty soon he'd consumed not only all of his wealth, but the wealth of those who'd invested in his ventures. Backrupt, and guilty of embezzlement, he fled civilized society a step ahead of the constablry.

The destruction of his wealth did nothing to curb his need. CHARNAME now lives a deprived life of petty theft and desperation, chasing the Electrum with a greater need than he chases food. He relies on his Allomancy more than ever now, as one of his few edges against his Marks, and the Constables.
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Postby Kadrok » Tue Oct 14, 2014 11:35 pm

Okay. So I've done Electrum, and as an exception to the rule made him a compounder. He's a low class character, a money desperate fugitive. I agree that Copper should be something he or she learns on his or her own. What's left?
Rather than give you a full character sheet for each, how about I throw you a concept and you see if you like it... also, if anyone else wants one of these for a game, they're welcome to it (I'll probably just make the character sheets for the ones I want).

Tin - Pervert; He's that Slacious Tineye your mother warned you about (see Alloy of Law page 157 for what gave me the idea) and has learned to take "Piercing Sight" to the extremes, see through clothing. He can also see through curtains at crucial times, catching ladies in undress for his own voyueristic amusement. You know it must be done.
Bronze - A Detective or Constable. Older gentleman. Quiet, stern and watchful. Firm but fair. Will likely take the Mistborn under his wing for the joy of passing on his experience.
Zinc - Highborn Heiress/Secret Rioter. You only found her by accident while burning Bronze with the Detective. She's good... she's really good... she'll have anyone who's not a Smoker wrapped around her finger as easy as pie, and the best part is that everyone is too distracted by the way they feel around her to get suspicious. Good thing you're a Smoker. (Think of my character Abby, but without the Zinc Feruchemy). Double points if Tin-pervert falls afoul of Zinc-heiress. You could also have Bronze-detective on the trail of Tin-pervert or Electrum-junkie; man, this thing is writing itself!
Electrum - Electrum addict. See above.

That's 4/10. Iron and Steel are pretty boring. Steel as a Coinshot Courier? Iron bodyguard? These suggestions seem kind of boring and obvious, but functional. How are you going to fit all of this into a short story?
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Postby Mac » Wed Oct 15, 2014 8:57 am

Hrm, the various teachers meeting would make the story very problematic. For that reason, the mistborn is going to do everything he can to find teachers as far apart, geographically, socially, and professionally as possible.

I plan for the short-story to be broken into chapters. Each chapter will highlight his training with one Master. He'll spend months with each, but I'll only do one scene with any of them (I might expand this if I reach the end of my writing exercise and decide to continue). If he's shadowing the detective and discovers he's on the trail of his former Tin master, I can't think of a reason he wouldn't simply skedaddle and avoid detection. Well, I can think of a few reasons, but they all seem sorta contrived. And the more Masters that meet each other, the more critical it will be that he escape.

Also, no problem with Compounders. They're just another form of Twinborn. Anyone willing to teach my character about using just the allomantic properties of the metal is fine with me. Someone like a Crasher would be tricky, since he uses his allomancy differently than another would due to his feruchemy, but however determined or not you are won't have much effect on how you gaze at your own future.

I actually thought that the coinshot might be the most fun. I was considering making it one of the criminals. Not a courier, who mainly just leaps about (though they probably know how to do that fairly well) but someone who uses all aspects of their ability; the steellines for detection, subtle Pushes for disctraction or long-range manipulation, weapons when necessary, using steel to navigate, not simply flying through the city, but twisting and bouncing around inside a building without touching the walls or floor as rapidly and silently as possible.
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Postby Kurkistan » Wed Oct 15, 2014 11:24 am

Suggestion: The aBronze teacher could be a node in some proto-telegraph network (they do not have telegraphs in AoL no matter what Crafty says 3:( ). The better the Seeker the more data he can pull out of the pulses, focusing to listen just to the kinds of pulses you're interested in, etc.
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Postby Mac » Wed Oct 15, 2014 12:50 pm

A factual error in the Mistborn Adventure Game?!!?!? How dare you even suggest such a thing.

Seriously though, think I can get away with having Ranette as an Iron Master? Also, how badly would she kill me if I ever referred to her as the Iron Maiden?
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Postby Kadrok » Wed Oct 15, 2014 5:20 pm

I was going to suggest Ranette, and them I remembered the MAG had her as a rating 5, with no stunts, which seemed consistent with her rather casual use of her powers. So great character, poor teacher.
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Postby Mac » Wed Oct 15, 2014 5:26 pm

Eh, I'm willing to part with MAG canon for the sake of a story. True, she'd slack on combat applications, but I was thinking of using her to emphasize my personal belief that she's learned to use the ironlines to garner more information than others. Also, considering how she burns, I would be tremendously surprised to learn she's not a savant.
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Postby elenaparis » Wed Jul 12, 2017 9:01 pm

I got an idea, how about my writing a short story about a bounty hunter's life, who has been occupied in some special work with his ahh, gold detectors. 8-)
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Postby jeremyguebert » Thu Jul 13, 2017 3:11 pm

Hey Mac. I wrote up a Leecher/Hazekiller for a Final Empire era game that you can use:

Some details would obviously have to change, but some of the core concepts might still work for you.
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